Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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