i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i think i have two assholes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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