And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
