My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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