For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
