i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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