Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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