he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
