he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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