went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
