i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
should my penis look like a turkey
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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