She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
