What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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