So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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