so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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