I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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