Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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