and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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