Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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