He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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Sounds like you need to whack your roommate on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
This makes me think of something you'd see in the hangover.
Puppy shit slip 'n slide! Hell yeah!
This deserves a 🏆