It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
