Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
