Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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