I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize