What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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