I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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