i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
