So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
