Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
