He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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