Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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