I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
