He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
