We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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