would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
