worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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