thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize