Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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