I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.