It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.