Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk

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  (662): Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning (780): I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk http://tfl.nu/o2k0
  Replies (17) Good night (2617) Bad night (994)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.

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  (609): Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home. http://tfl.nu/wrow
  Replies (23) Good night (4933) Bad night (960)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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  (254): I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night. http://tfl.nu/j8hi
  Replies (27) Good night (4510) Bad night (1189)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking

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  (917): You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking http://tfl.nu/a0v5
  Replies (11) Good night (3611) Bad night (1068)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.

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  (918): IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request. http://tfl.nu/53d6
  Replies (14) Good night (5218) Bad night (856)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.

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  (740): he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue. http://tfl.nu/53t4
  Replies (18) Good night (2423) Bad night (1967)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....

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  (724): Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on.... http://tfl.nu/te8z
  Replies (67) Good night (1906) Bad night (7472)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team

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  (513): hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team http://tfl.nu/e17f
  Replies (8) Good night (3153) Bad night (622)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

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  (404): I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/o66a
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (1369)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

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  (859): well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS http://tfl.nu/hivl
  Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (503)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...

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  (+44): I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon... http://tfl.nu/zui4
  Replies (3) Good night (1244) Bad night (1085)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.

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  (724): I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower. http://tfl.nu/44q1
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (269)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.

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  (616): im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake. http://tfl.nu/ht7z
  Replies (6) Good night (352) Bad night (840)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to

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  (978): They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to http://tfl.nu/mjdy
  Replies (6) Good night (481) Bad night (625)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.

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  (503): Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too. http://tfl.nu/9ocy
  Replies (6) Good night (1493) Bad night (291)

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