Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
