Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

(1-386): View more from Florida

You're going home with him aren't you?

(386): View more from Florida

I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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(386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az

Replies (12) Good night (1366) Bad night (2977)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...

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(610): just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating... http://tfl.nu/t9b4

Replies (47) Good night (1632) Bad night (5576)
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(305): View more from Florida

She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

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(305): She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning. http://tfl.nu/va2c

Replies (20) Good night (4333) Bad night (910)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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(781): Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger. http://tfl.nu/4opy

Replies (7) Good night (943) Bad night (2377)
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(773): View more from Illinois

i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

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(773): i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is... http://tfl.nu/4q16

Replies (4) Good night (2545) Bad night (1192)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.

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(403): luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist. http://tfl.nu/qzta

Replies (16) Good night (3143) Bad night (1152)
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(812): View more from Indiana

No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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(812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw

Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (575)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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(724): i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager. http://tfl.nu/vpf4

Replies (5) Good night (1614) Bad night (606)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

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(505): All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks. http://tfl.nu/p1dl

Replies (6) Good night (1964) Bad night (505)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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(412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y

Replies (2) Good night (1526) Bad night (502)
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(801): View more from Utah

NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him

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(801): NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him http://tfl.nu/eloy

Replies (7) Good night (1897) Bad night (511)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.

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(+64): You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus. http://tfl.nu/u2un

Replies (5) Good night (1173) Bad night (507)
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(206): View more from Washington

I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.

(425): View more from Washington

.... touche....

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(206): I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection. (425): .... touche.... http://tfl.nu/xj9c

Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (405)
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(315): View more from New York

So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.

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(315): So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose. http://tfl.nu/648d

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (797)
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(727): View more from Florida

So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?

(303): View more from Colorado

We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.

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(727): So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours? (303): We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good. http://tfl.nu/rlem

Replies (3) Good night (874) Bad night (260)

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