the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
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Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.