and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
