just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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