bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
