he puts the penis in happiness.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
