Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
