Only a mothe r could love this liver
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
