Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
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She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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