billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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