So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
