he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
