You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
