its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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