I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
