They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
