oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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