i just google imaged poop.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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