Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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