Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
