I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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