my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
