Will you blow on my dice?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
