thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Be still, my beating vagina.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
