I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
