When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
