the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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