OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
