Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
