Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
