Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
