People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
