This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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