Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
